This experimental liturgy has now been issued to the Beaker Liturgical Commission, who, after suitable consideration and a period of trial, will recommend it to the Liturgical Synod who may, or may not, recommend alterations and another period of consideration and a trial, before recommending it to the Bardic Bench who may, or may not, recommend alterations and another period of consideration and a trial, before recommending it to the Druidical Council. If all goes well, we may get it authorised before the countries that were formerly the United Kingdom rejoin the European Union.
Hymn: Buddy can you spare a dime? (about 11p at current rates)
Confession: We've no idea what the point of this coin is.
Reading: The story of when Jesus needed 50p to pay the Temple Tax but Peter wasn't allowed to catch a fish because it was in British waters.
Archdruid: Behold! This shiniest of things! The Brexit 50p!
Younger Beaker Folk: What's a 50p?
Archdruid: It's a coin.
Younger Beaker Folk: What's a coin?
Archdruid: It's like contactless, only made of metal...
Younger Beaker Folk: Why?
Archdruid: Why what?
Younger Beaker Folk: Just why?
Drayton Parslow: It is the reversal of the dark times! The hands of friendship of the 1973 coin are now the clenched fists of Brexiters at foreigners and the V-signs of the Conservative Party towards their own people! Rejoice! Rejoice! Truly the fogs of righteousness will sweep down upon the Channel and cut off the Continent! And the song of the turtle will be heard in the land! (Except, since turtles* are foreign, they will have to earn at least £36K per year to sing in the land.) Let us cast off the bonds of friendship and rejoice in loathing and blame-mongering!
Younger Beaker Folk: Isn't friendship a good thing?
Drayton Parslow: This is not about friendship! We are free from the Whore of Babylon - the evil empire with its seat in Rome.
Archdruid: Erm, Brussels?
Drayton Parslow: Good point.
Younger Beaker Folk: What is 1973?
Archdruid: Well, basically, we're going to be given a coin to reverse the message of a coint that nobody under the age of 50 can even remember, and it's all for....
Drayton Parslow: Freedom! Remember our great withdrawal from Europe at Dunkirk! Remember Agincourt! Remember Bannockburn!
Archdruid: Wasn't that a great victory for Scottish independence from England?
Drayton Parslow: Ye may take away my false view of history. But ye cannot take away my freedom!
Younger Beaker Folk: Can you eat freedom?
Drayton Parslow: You cannot measure freedom by its monetary worth. Brexit is the substance of things hoped for and the consistency of porridge.
Younger Beaker Folk: Well, what's a 50p coin worth?
Archdruid: About €0.40.
Offertory: Contactless and notes only. No vulgar silver coins.
Hymn: I fought Delors. And Delors (and all his successors) won
Beaker Folk file out to stockpile Brie
*Yes. We know it's not that kind of turtle.
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I have never considered the EU as an enemy, just a grouping for peace and power for Brussels. And the King of Belgium would love to be King of Europe. But the French Republic might have a view, since Strasbourg has a claim on being soveriegn, and bit like our parliament which claims to be in charge, but are quaking in their boots about Borish calling a General Election on 29th October to derail any attempt to prevent a no deal. They gone to a Scottish Court to try to prevent it, which is odd, when Scotland wants to be foreign to the rest of the UK>
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