Of Quirks and Quinces - A Beaker Samhain Tradition

As this Halloween night drags on, we continue to scare small children with our "Robert Jenrick" masks.

To be fair, it's quite a terrifying experience. A small child knocks on the door of the Great House. 

To be met with someone wearing a mask that changes appearance. 

One minute it's the Euro-friendly, smiley face of one of the old-fashioned Tories that lives in the real world and wants the country to thrive.

The next, it's the red-eyed, dead-eyed visage of the dyed-in-the-wool Brexosexual that nobody expected, hanging flags from lamp-posts while hanging upside down like bats, and rarely checking whether the Union Jacks are even the right way up. 

Sometimes the kids need therapy.

The other thing we do, when not wearing our Jenrick masks, is leave out quinces for the little urchins that visit, if not too traumatised by the Jenrick lookalikes.

Have you ever tried eating quinces?  People just leave them lying around. It's a traditional fruit, but it takes some care in its preparation.

When someone gives you a ton or two of quinces, put them in a Brooklyn Lager box.

Then drink the lager.

Leave the box of quinces in your porch in the hope that trick-or-treaters will think they're giant sweets.

In the morning, throw all the quinces in the nearest ditch. You can use the box to light the fire.