Thursday 29 January 2009

The Beaker Code

Our understanding of the Church has been questioned by one of the leaders of a fenland religious instititution.  

In response we would have to point out the undisputable fact that the Early Church were in fact Beaker People.  
The legend of the Holy Grail is clearly a cryptic memory of the Beakers that the Church used for their ritual washing (later sublimated into baptism).  These beakers also underlay the Celtic myths of the use of cauldrons of healing.  The church inherited the use of "months" to compute the passing of time from their Jewish forbears - whose use of the New Moon to determine when to hold their own celebrations is an indicator that the Patriarchs themselves were Beaker Folk.  Do we even have to mention the ritual washing beakers at the Wedding at Cana, the beakers of water that Elijah poured out on his sacrifice,  the beaker of oil which sustained the widow of Zarephath?  One can understand how people have missed these hints over the years.  After all, we keep our treasures in beakers of clay.

That the role of female archdruids and the use of beakers has been so carefully edited from the records of the early Church is of course no surprise.  Females in leadership, and the use of common workaday objects such as clay beakers rather than silver and gold vessels would always have been offensive to an upper-class Roman society.  I'm just glad we have been able to set the record straight.

1 comment :

  1. Not Quite so Reverend Archdruid,

    Having perused your frankly heretical imaginings (Beaker Folk clearly ingest some very special substances) I have drafted a reply, which has however now run into some 100-odd pages (not dissimilar to that famous and erudite essay by Benjamin Jowett, "On the Interpretation of Scripture", well known for stating on 100 pages what could be said in five, published by Parker of London in 1860 in that most learned book with its most witty title, "Essays and Reviews", ed. William Temple). Due to its length, this shall be submitted to Acta Fenlandii, and since the editor is a cousin twice removed as well as uncle and grandfather, I have every confidence that it shall be published in due course.

    In the meantime, however, I have alerted THE BISHOP. Prepare for a visit!

    Cordially Yours,

    ReplyDelete

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