The Beaker Code

Our understanding of the Church has been questioned by one of the leaders of a fenland religious instititution.  

In response we would have to point out the undisputable fact that the Early Church were in fact Beaker People.  

The legend of the Holy Grail is clearly a cryptic memory of the Beakers that the Church used for their ritual washing (later sublimated into baptism).  These beakers also underlay the Celtic myths of the use of cauldrons of healing.  The church inherited the use of "months" to compute the passing of time from their Jewish forbears - whose use of the New Moon to determine when to hold their own celebrations is an indicator that the Patriarchs themselves were Beaker Folk.  Do we even have to mention the ritual washing beakers at the Wedding at Cana, the beakers of water that Elijah poured out on his sacrifice,  the beaker of oil which sustained the widow of Zarephath?  One can understand how people have missed these hints over the years.  After all, we keep our treasures in beakers of clay.

That the role of female archdruids and the use of beakers has been so carefully edited from the records of the early Church is of course no surprise.  Females in leadership, and the use of common workaday objects such as clay beakers rather than silver and gold vessels would always have been offensive to an upper-class Roman society.  I'm just glad we have been able to set the record straight.