Pre-budget Contrition

In view of the forthcoming Budget we have decided that we will hold Three Days of Contrition.

Each day at 10am, the members of the Community, dressed in sackcloth, ashes and gray hi-viz, will proceed clockwise around the grounds thrashing themselves with willow sticks.  They will then walk anti-clockwise around the grounds, thrashing an effigy of the Chancellor with willow sticks.

In fact, it's not strictly an effigy of the Chancellor.  It's actually a doll of Bert from Sesame St, with some whitewash on his hair.  Nobody seems to notice much difference and there are rumours that Bert may understand monetary policy better than the real thing... 

We will then draw pictures of something we all bought in the good times, thinking we really needed it, but now realise that we will never pay off that loan, mortgage or credit card bill - as it may be a cappucino machine, a Segway, BMW Z4 M Roadster, Summer House, Wii Fit, Patio Heater, Xmas House Bling, magnetic tadpole collator or a collection of scented tea lights.  Then we will burn the pictures, thus ceremonially returning them whence they came.  But we'll keep the originals.  We may need to sell them on e-bay if things get any worse.  We don't need to come over all fundamentalist on this one.