The Gathering
Archdruid: Haddin may last for the night
All: But Freddie striketh in the morning.
Archdruid: We have waited for many generations. Our parents told us of the day when the English beat the Aussies at Lords. Who could believe what has been revealed before our very eyes, courtesy of Sky Sports and the BBC Website?
All: Truly wonders are seen. Flowers have appeared in the earth. The time of singing hath come. And the voice of Henry Blofeld is heard in the land.
Archdruid: A reading from the Book of Aggers.
Hnaef: And Blofeld said unto him "My dear old thing - verily a pigeon flieth across the ground, and the number of red buses is nigh unto four score that we have seen since last Thursday. And lo - a plane passeth on its way from Heathrow. Maybe it carrieth holidaymakers unto the city of Rome, or even unto Athens or Jerusalem. Don't the trees look nice in the sunlight?" And indeed, as Blofeld rambled on, the English team smote the Aussies one last time and walked from the field rejoicing. But Blowers noticed not. And great was the wailing and gnashing of teeth, in Sydney, Canberra, Brisbane and even unto Earls Court.
The sharing of the Cake
Archdruid: That's rather a nice cake.
All: We received it from a Mrs Collins from Leicester.
The Commination
Archdruid: Ricky Ponting, Don Bradman, Dennis Lillee, Kylie Minogue, Dame Nelly Melba, Jason Donavon, Merv the Swerve, Rolf Harris - can you hear me, Rolf Harris?
All: Your boys took a hell of a beating.
Archdruid: Let us all give thanks!
All: Thanks, Freddie!
brilliant
ReplyDeleteWith all due respect, Archdruid: you omitted the Voice from the Back (which may be German, or possibly, South African...), heckling the proceedings along the lines of "if it weren't for all the South Africans in the English team, you'd have never won"!
ReplyDeleteI would like to thank my esteemed friend for his contribution regarding the South African (or possibly German) contribution to the English (and Welsh, let's not forget) victory. However it is fair to say that without the systematic importation of those Londoners who had the best hand-eye co-ordination over a number of decades, the Australian team wouldn't be what it is either.
ReplyDeleteso in fact what truly happened was that the South Africans beat the English?????
ReplyDeleteRather like the American Revolution, where the (English) settlers beat the (German) troops of the (German) House of Hanover.
ReplyDelete