Schism

36 hours I spent off ill.  36 hours.  And what do I find?  The whole place rent with schism.
At the last count we had the following sects suddenly appeared:

Anti Pebbles / Pro Tea-lights

Pro Pebbles / Anti Tea-lights

Anti Pebbles / Anti Tea-lights

Pro Pebbles / Pro Tea-lights

Anti Tea-lights but only if they're lavender scented

Anti Pebbles / Pro Harriet Harman

Anti Women Archdruids

Anti Men Archdruids

Anti Gay Women Archdruids

Anti all Archdruids

Pro Gay Handfasting

Anti Gay Handfasting

Anti Anyone Handfasting

Pro Jilted John (we think this may have crept in by mistake)

Anti Lager / Pro Harriet Harman for Archdruid

New Labour (we think someone may be really demented)

Pro Tea-lights / Anti Harriet Harman / Pro Swine Flu

And so on.  And so on.  Internet blood has been spilt as Pro-Jilted John Beaker Folk have proven why Harriet Harman is the Evil One incarnate.  And vice-versa.

At the last count there were 135 different positions being taken, each with its own dedicated website, and each showing an impeccable logic as to why the position being taken was right and all others wrong.  

Which is a considerable number more divisions than we actually have Beaker People.  

And so far nobody has made a stand for the position "We're all in this together in this broken world.  Let's show some decency and charity".

So clearly there's no danger of that happening.  I'm off to get my cricket bat.  You'd all better watch out.