Commemoration for the Official Apology of Gordon Brown (PM) to Alan Turing

The Archdruid writes: Firstly some explanations may be in order.  Many of our Australian readers, and indeed our American cousins, who apparently are generally Moon Gibbon followers, may be under the impression that the British Prime Minister is still Tony Blair, or possibly even Margaret Thatcher.  In fact, both these esteemed leaders have since retired, although Mr Blair continues to have a role as an even more charismatic and pluralistic religious leader than myself, giving instructions to his disciple, the strangely named "Benedict XVI" and numerous Muslims throughout the world on how to bring world peace, see that all religions are in fact true, and ensure that things only get better.  No - in fact the British Prime Minister is now a man called Gordon Brown.

The Celebration

Archdruid: Let heaven and earth rejoice!  For Gordon Brown has apologised to Alan Turing on our behalf!

All: Alan Turing?  Who's he then?

Archdruid: That bloke at Bletchley Park?  - Just up the road.  You must remember.  Enigma?  Colossus?

All: No, you'll have to remind us a bit more...

Archdruid: Batted for the other side....?
All: Oh Yeah!  Rejoice!  For Gordon Brown has apologised to him. 

All: By the way - Why?  What did Gordon Brown do to him?

Archdruid: Well, nothing really.

All: So how can he apologise to him?  

Archdruid: He's not doing it for him, is he?  He's apologising for all of us.

The Youngest member of the Folk: But I wasn't even born at the time.  How come he's  apologising for me?

Archdruid: In a sense, we're all guilty.

Burton Dasset: Well, I'm not.

Archdruid: Let us now pronounce the Litany of Things for Which We're Sorry Even Though We're not Responsible for them and Don't Really Feel Guilty and Don't Plan to do Anything About Them.

Archdruid: For the Persecution of the Anabaptists:

All: We're truly sorry.

Archdruid: For the burning of Archbishop Cranmer

All:  We're truly sorry.

Archdruid: And for the loss of Calais

All:  We're truly sorry.

Archdruid: For the conversion of the Dutch by Wilibrord of Northumbria, thus laying the foundations for the South African branch of the Dutch Reformed Church and therefore apartheid... 

All:  We're truly sorry.

Archdruid: For the entire British Empire, obviously excluding Jersey, which is nice for a holiday:

All:  We're truly sorry.

Archdruid: For the Battle of Waterloo

All:  We're truly sorry.

Archdruid: For the pit ponies, and all the dear little canaries in the coal mines:

All: We're truly sorry.

Archdruid: For witch trials, and especially for poor Elizabeth Pratt, who got arrested on Dunstable Downs and had to share a prison with John Bunyan.  Imagine all that Psalm singing.

All:  We're truly sorry.

Archdruid: And for imprisoning John Bunyan:

All:  We're truly sorry.

Archdruid: For the wiping out of the Levellers, the 17th century egalitarians and religious nutters:

All:  We're truly sorry.

Archdruid: And for all the religious nutters:  

All:  We're truly sorry.

Archdruid: For the inflicting of Tom Jones on the world:

All:  It's not unusual. No, scratch that. We're truly sorry.

  

The Archdruid and Beaker Folk head off to the Great House, smug and self-satisfied.

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