Day of Rolling in Ashes

In the hope that we may be spared the forthcoming conflagration, while the rest of the world burns, today is officially a Day of Rolling in Ashes.
Now I know that in the past we have kept our ceremonies generally cheerful. But this is a bit different so let's get down there and grovel. Whatever it is we're grovelling to.

8 am - Wailing

8.30 am - Gnashing of Teeth

9 am - Rolling in Ashes

9.30 am - Grovelling

10.00 am - Snivelling

10.30 - Blaming the Baptists

11.00 am - Blaming the Atheists

11.30 am - Blaming the U.N.

12 mid-day - Blaming Delia Smith

12.30 - Weeping

13.00 - Shuddering

13.30 - Imposition of Ashtrays

14.00 - Ducking & Diving

14.30 - Reading the Runes

15.00 - Wishing we hadn't

15.30 - Gnarling (temporarily re-instated)

16.00 - Apologies

17.00 - Early withdrawal to the White Horse for the night. Well, we might as well.



Dress code: Sack-cloth.