Yule Sale

You know, many people come to me and say "Archdruid, what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
And that's a hard question.  So many faiths, so many attitudes to life, death and how to gain salvation, nirvana, or  paradise according to choice.  So many different paths.  It can all become so confusing and worrying.
So why not buy a bag of Beaker tea lights?  In many ways just like any other tea lights, but lighting one of our authentic Beaker lights will give you 2-3 hours of new-age relaxation in the comfort of your very own library, conservatory or yurt.  And if you feel at peace with the universe now, why worry about the life to come?

And speaking of yurts - what better place could there be to light your Beaker tea lights than in your very own authentic Beaker yurt?  Crafted with the expertise of those Mongols whom we can be almost certain moved to Husborne Crawley in the centuries BC.  We have a limited edition of only 2,012 Beaker Yurts.  So buy one and get a bag of tea lights for free.

For those requiring a more word-based spirituality - whoever you are, we have a Beaker Common Worship for you.  The new Bathtime Beaker Common Worship has been made with laminated pages and an inflatable rubber cover, specially for people who like to carry out their daily devotions in the bath, shower or bubble pool in the garden.  The Study Beaker Common Worship comes with hand-tooled calfskin cover, gold leaf lettering and parchment paper - a must for those wanting to get back to a simpler, more authentic lifestyle of poverty and austerity in these Credit Crunchtimes.  While Today's New International Beaker Common Worship has all words with the the dipthong "-our-" spelt "-or-", and all gender-specific language removed and replaced with the word "it".

To accompany your Beaker Common Worship, why not try our new CD - "Sounds of living pebbles".  Many have claimed that pebbles don't actually make any sounds - but they're wrong.  Using new technology, we have shown that if you drop a pebble from the top of California Cliffs in Norfolk, they do indeed make a sound.  Especially when you land them on the sound recordist.

And then there are doilies.  Shaped like a full moon, in a choice of linen, white or unbleached paper - the widest choice of doilies on earth can be obtained from Mrs Whimsey's Online Doily Shop (now only available online as we've closed all the real ones down for tax reasons).

So don't forget - buy early for Yule!  We have only 2,012 of each of these fantastic items.  And when they're gone, we'll just go out and make some more.