More Trouble with the Choir

The Beaker Carol

Wombles roasting on an open fire

Rudolph cooking on the stove

Random warblings come from the Choir

Stacey crashing through the Grove.

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Terrifying vibratos this morning.  The newly-formed Beaker Choir apparently overdid it on the cherry brandy at last night's Politically Correct bingo.  Well, it was enough to make anyone turn to drink.  Especially when we discovered that, in a sudden bright flash of imagination only partially stolen from Bruce Almighty, Hnaef had ensured that everyone had identical Bingo cards.  I know that among the seventy-three official titles Hnaef holds (including Lord High Executioner and Pebble of the Board of Trade) he is the Political Correctness Tsar*.  But this was taking "all shall win prizes" to another level.  Once we realised that every game was going to result with us all shouting "house" at the same time, we jut gave up.

But let us turn back - probably with a shudder - to the Choir.  The tenors and altos were warbling so far that at times they were an octave apart, at times singing in unison.  Which isn't great when they were supposed to be singing in close harmony.  And who told the sopranos they could manage the descant in "O Come all ye faithful"?  By the end they'd both passed out - although whether that was due to hyperventilation or because they had over-heated from parking their voluminous gowns above the heating vents is something we're unsure about.

And I swear the Traditional Beaker Carol was sung in 9 parts.  Which is worrying for two reasons - firstly because it was only written for four, and secondly because there are only eight in the choir.

I really need to do something about the Choir.  Trouble is, you have to be so tactful and so gentle - so sensitive to others' opinions.  Especially when the choirmaster has taken to carrying that club everywhere with him.

*I prefer the Russian spelling to the Polish.