Rift? What rift?

I should like to calm everyone down over the so-called "rift" in the Beaker Fellowship.

When the Beaker Folk of America appointed an Archdruid who was not only a man, but also married, clearly I had to take swift action.  I wrote a strongly-worded letter explaining that this was just the kind of thing they had promised they probably wouldn't do.
In response I got a very friendly letter, with a picture of them enjoying themselves at something they called the "Boston Tea Light Party".  It was on very high-quality paper, with the watermark "1776" running across it.  I suspect there is some kind of a subliminal message in all this, but I don't know what it is.
I've asked other Beaker leaders around the world what to do about it, but they've mostly suggested beating the Americans with sticks to drive out the demons.  I'm not sure that's going to work in these circumstances. Not least because, Americans being Americans, it could lead to some kind of military strike on Husborne Crawley.
So for now, I guess what we can all do is pray.