Twenty reasons to go to war with Iraq

His Holiness Tony Blair, shadowy Power behind the Pope, has said he would've invaded Iraq even if he knew there were no weapons of mass destruction (like he didn't?)   He said it was a matter of coming up with other reasons.  Perhaps we can help?

1) Oil
2) Saddam had a dodgy moustache
3) He mis-read the Book of Daniel while drinking tequila and thought he was St Michael, come to drive out the Babylonians.
4) Dem Bush boyz owed ol' Saddam a big ol' can of whupp-ass
5) Saddam kept giving Cherie a funny look.*
6) Petroleum
7) Because Saddam didn't have weapons of mass destruction.  Because if he had, it would have been too dangerous.  Blimey, would you seriously take on North Korea?
8) Tony was a keen Diplomacy player while at university.  He knows the path to success is always to attack the new target, just before you've finished off the old one.**
9) Tony wanted to be nice to the Yanks.
10) As countries go, it has such nice straight edges.  Easier to draw on a piece of graph paper.
11) Tony had always wanted to go to the Eden Project, and was confusing it with the Garden of Eden.
12) That black stuff that comes out of the ground
13) Iraq had been a socialist country for 40 years.  We know what Tony thought of socialists.
14) More time in COBR meetings is less time having holistic mud baths with Carole Caplin.
15) Just the one war on your CV makes it look like you've no dedication.
16) All the 20th century Britain sat around waiting for people trying to invade us.  In a new century, it was time to show some initiative.
17) We were never going to bring back the Death Penalty in England, and Tony just wanted to run a country where they could hang a few people.  Try anything once...
18) It would be good experience for being a Middle Eastern peace envoy.
19) You know how it is - it's Sunday afternoon, you've been to Mass, there's not much to do till PMQs on Tuesday, a mate phones up...
20) Gordon mislead him on how many helicopters he'd actually paid for.
* He didn't.  She already had it.
** Except of course we didn't finish off the old target, as it turns out.