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Thursday 14 January 2010

Merging of Communities

I have been asked by the Senior Wolf of the La Tène Folk of Luton to publish the new pattern of Ceremony Times, now they have merged with the Gaddesden and Markyate Corded Ware Folk.  This was caused by the recent discovery of the two groups that they didn't have any money.  The new group will be known as the United Folk of the Chilterns.  Ironically...

Staffing: The new combined group will be served by the Senior Wolf of Luton, who will be joined by a Junior Wolf who lives in Kings Langley.  Kings Langley isn't actually in either of the areas concerned, but she refused to move, and she doesn't get paid or receive any kind of housing so what do you expect?

Redbourn: Pouring out of Beakers will take place every third Sunday at 4pm.  Tea Lights will be lit every first Sunday at 8 am.

Flamstead: Devotions will take place at 3pm on every Full Moon.  Every third month this will move to 2pm for no apparent reason.  Under no circumstances will Flamstead Folk join in worship with Markyate Folk, not after that incident in the Sun in 1934.

Little Gaddesden: Filling up of Beakers will take place every Saturday at 6am.  This is to give enough time for the Junior Wolf then to take the Beakers to Great Gaddesden for the 8am Pouring out of Beakers.  The Beakers will then go on to Markyate for the 10 am filling up, then on again to Pepsal End for the 3pm pouring out.

Pepperstock: The "Pepperstock Pebbles" junior group will continue to meet every Friday at 9pm.  They know it's a stupid time for a group of five-year-olds, but to be honest none of them turned up when it was a sensible time anyway, so they thought "what the heck".

Luton: The Luton group has a strong Lay team, capable of leading worship, lighting tea-lights themselves and even have two people licenced to conduct Pouring Out of Beakers.  They will therefore refuse to let the Senior Wolf lead worship anywhere else, if there is a Ceremony scheduled in Luton.  Which is unfortunate as this is all the time.

"Worship all together" - this chance for all Corded Ware and La Tène Folk to join in a celebration together will be held in Leagrave at 6pm on the 4th Friday of each month.  Nobody will attend.

The Leadership of the La Tène and Corded Ware Folk would like to announce that they are frazzled.

1 comment:

  1. I'm taking a copy of this post to CME tonight. Had I known such reorganisational shennanigans were taking place in my neighbouring parishes I would have brought my plastic mug to add a 'Fresh Expressions' perspective, although I suspect that won't be unanimously welcomed in the Gaddesdens.

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