Those Modern Special Lent Events in Full

For those that are giving up Lent this year: 

Fellows' Fellowship Fry-Up (if we stuff the blokes full of bacon and black pudding, they won't notice that we've got the Flower Pressing service tomorrow)

Rav4 Procession of Witness (walking is so 1950s)

Releasing of the Scape-Squirrel into the wilderness (well, straight up the nearest tree, in fact)

Anne Summers Lenten Evening (buy that special something ready for Easter - in aid of Church Funds)

The Chocolate Repentance Fantasia (with chocolate fountain, naturally)

"Compare the Meerkat" evening


Assemblies of God Praise and Worship Evening (due to not knowing what Lent is)

C of E Praise and Worship Evening (due to knowing what Lent is, but can't we have a sing-song anyway?)

The Fondue of Atonement

The "being driven out into the desert" will be replaced by "being driven out to the Brunel Shopping Centre, Bletchley".  It's similar, but there's more life in the desert.