Dear Readers - I have had such an exciting day!
As part of my education in the Beaker Folk of Husborne Crawley - what the Archdruid calls my "indoctrination" - she has allowed me to write my thesis on Worship Dynamics.
I have developed a method of assessing the spiritual involvement and emotional engagement of worshippers by using the Spurgeonometer. This simple technical device returns a measure of Spiritual Temperature, which is expressed in Spurgeons. 1 Spurgeon is equivalent to listening to a a preacher telling you about the funny thing they said to someone on holiday, or to an extended reading from Numbers on a cold morning in February when the heating's broken. While at the middle of a period of Pentecostal praise 'n' worship, or for the elevation of the host at a Papal Mass, we would anticipate readings of up to 2 or 3 kiloSpurgeons.
However you need to monitor the part of a worshipper's body most involved in their form of worship. Curiously this turns out to be different parts of the bodies of different traditions. For example, for Liberals it has to be used on the head. For Pentecostals it monitors the heart. For Methodists, you get the best results from the vocal chords. While for Anglicans, you simply put the device in their pocket. Mind you, in that case you don't get a read-out.
I hope to be developing various graphs over the next few weeks - at least when the Archdruid lets me out. But I am glad to have produced my first experimental output this morning, from a local Methodist church. I hope you find it illuminating.
Technical Notes: the output on the graph below is in Spurgeons. For those of American extraction who don't use "Imperial" measures, a Spurgeon is equivalent to 0.4 milliWimbers.
Oh!
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