I’ve had a longish day , mostly on the phone to Tabitha. And a strange day as well.
Tabitha, a friend of Kayleigh’s (and Kylie’s) was most concerned to hear about their inclusion in the music group. And apparently Kylie (or possibly Kayleigh) has been telling her all about Simon’s interest in her.
Tabitha demanded to know what I was thinking of, putting her friends on display like that to be ogled by the unbridled manhood of the congregation. Which is an image that has remained with me for the rest of the day, I can tell you. Is it mete, she asked, to meet and treat these girls like meat? And I tried to explain to her that there were no sinister intentions, and that Kayleigh, and for that matter Kylie, was perfectly modestly dressed.
But there was no stopping Tabitha. In her desire to explain the errors of my ways, she resorted to the words of the Good Book. And in her attempt to describe the feelings that young love may call up, she quoted large chunks of the Song of Solomon to me.
And it was just while she was referring to the Lover – “who cometh out of the wilderness like pillars of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense” – that Marjorie happened to indulge in her habit, which she tells me is for my own protection – of listening in from the extension in the lounge.
There was a load more stuff about young does, towers and pomegranates, and then Marjorie requested that Tabitha remove herself from the line.
I’ve explained it was all innocent on my behalf, but I’ve been suffering from the Cold Shoulder all day since.
And why are you referring to Tabitha as a turtle?
ReplyDeleteAt least I'm sure it is Tabitha that you are referring to—not having seen any shoulders—cold, hot, or lukewarmish—on turtles. Is this a coded way in which you refer to those who rebuke you?
I'll have you know that the Jewish rabbis didn't allow any man under the age of 30 to read the Canticle of Canticles—just how old are you? Why are you flaunting these verses to just any young man who happens to read this post?
I can well see why your wife is giving you the cold shoulder, but why don't you tell her to stop? Don't you have any authority in your household? Will she not obey? Why did you label this as "Godly Order" then?
Oh, and by the way, could you post pictures of Kylie and Kayleigh? I'm not sure, but perhaps they aren't as modestly dressed as you state. Why else would you react so strongly? Mmmm, perhaps a picture of Marjorie and Tabitha to see how modestly they dress too, if they are below the age of thirty. That will help give us commenters the ability to discern where the problem lies.
Thank you.
(P.S. I note that the word verification is asking me to copy a word that my dignity does not allow me to repeat. Is that a trick to keep rebukes far from you?)
I too would like to see photos posted of Kayleigh & Kylie so we can verify the sanctity of these young innocents of course! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Brother Miller,
ReplyDeleteWell, Rev'd Drayton, we are the two witnesses that are required. If there is a third, we would be happy to hear from that one also.
BTW, Brother Miller, I noticed that you wrote, "Kayleigh & Kylie" rather than "Kylie and Kayleigh". You will note that Kayleigh not only is alphabetically first, but also has the weight of more letters in her name. Now, seeing that the Good Book says that the first should be last, "Kylie and Kayleigh" would be the most appropriate way of addressing them.
True, the good Rev'd has them mixed, but, I fear, that may speak something of his theology. Hmm?
Dear Brother muddleglum,
ReplyDeleteI too was under the impression that doctrinally it would be Kylie and Kayleigh, but as God's man for that particular congregation I would not feel comfortable questioning any of his decisions in matters of faith, polity, or grammar.
Would not want to be in the same heretical group as those dastardly types who would dare to suggest the furnaces of hell existing at the very bottom of the bottomless pit.
Dear Brother Miller,
ReplyDeleteExcellent point, Brother. Excellent point.
I'm still waiting on those pictures, though. One would think that anyone who would blog on the colors of the Bible would have pictorial view in general.
The word verification for this comment is another undignified word, "derat," albeit not nearly as bad as previous words. It leaves one wondering about the sanctity of this blog.
I'm afraid that the quality of comments on this post explain precisely why I ensured Kayleigh and Kylie were modestly dressed before I allowed them to join the music group.
ReplyDeleteNo pictures will be forthcoming. And I'm afraid you're just going to have to imagine what Marjorie looks like also.
I personally think the reminder to picture Marjorie was above & beyond the punishment merited by myself or Brother muddleglum for innocently wishing to verify the modesty of our beloved sisters in Christ. Consider the entire gender forgotten for the time being, will take a while to get the thought of Marjorie out of my head.
ReplyDeleteBrother Miller,
ReplyDeleteI commend your forthright following of the Biblical injunction against having imagination. And, if Marjorie Parslow has as cold a shoulder as the good Rev'd insinuates, it must be a vain imagination indeed! One would hope she keeps them covered better. One would also hope her husband would learn to control her better.