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Friday, 15 October 2010

Data Mining

The Archdruid's been asking me to do some number-crunching on the Google Analytics. Every now and then she likes to keep an eye on the "target market", as she refers to our visitors here on the blog. And today I've crunched the numbers and worked out the Typical Beaker Visitor, or "TBV".

So: the TBV typically uses Firefox, with Safari just edging IE. They probably use Windows, but a third use Linux or a Mac. Which causes me to believe that the TBV is about 53% hippy.

Unlike Drayton's old blog, which had 75% of its hits from the USA, 90% of visitors come from the United Kingdom. Thanks to a rather strange link on Twitter, Estonia is now in 6th place for the last month, while Fiji comes a rather impressive 9th. 34% of visitors from the UK appear to be Londoners, although that may simply be to do with their ISPs. 62% of visitors have come back - or to look at it another way, a third are never seen again.

More importantly and interestingly, I have been able to ascertain that the TBV is a middle-aged, probably female, minister (or trainee) from the middle of the United Kingdom, who is on average 60% Anglican, 30% Methodist and 10% other (including Baptist or Unitarian). I suspect her name is Barbara, although there is a 1% chance of her being a German bloke who sounds suspiciously South African.

Finally, below you can see our hits rate by time of day. It reveals some interesting things.

The first peak is round about 9am. Since normal people are already at work at this time and so this peak must be entirely ministerial, I suspect that this is the time that Barbara gets up.

Around about noon, Barbara comes back from visiting the sick or going to the coffee morning, as the case may be, and sits around on the Internet until 2pm at which point she probably goes off to bury somebody or attend to a council meeting about the importance of the playgroup's new windows. If she confuses the two, it's bad news for the Planning Committee.

After tea time, Barbara has steadily more time on her hands to surf the Net while watching telly, but finally switches off the PC once Wallander or, as it may be, DCI Bates, has finished. At which point she has a cup of cocoa and goes to bed.

1 comment:

  1. Poor Barbara. She too probably feels that little burning-wickerman frisson of horror on meeting that German bloke who sounds suspiciously South African.

    I hope you, Mrs Hnaef, were not at the grog-up where I was after the recent New Humanist/RSA thang, or else I can see why the suspiciousness.

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