Scrumpy

Now listen, you New Age Numpties.

There's been some grumbling in the ranks about the way everybody's got to spend the day gathering, chopping, grinding and pressing apples.
Some of you - I refer to those of you who've booked on the "Cheap because it's not Half Term" deal - are moaning that it's not fair. Why should you, you ask, press apples so that people can drink cider at Christmas and through next year? Where, you ask, is the cider to which you are entitled - the cider that was made last year?

To answer the second question first - the fact is that we drank it all in February. If you'd been on the "Cheap because it's not Half Term" week then, you'd have had your own share in that beautiful Kingston Black single varietal, the Somerset Red Streak Scrumpy Wine, and the frankly suicidal "Leftovers we Threw in a Bucket". You weren't here, we were and it was great.

To answer the first question - obviously there are the spiritual benefits. The mind-numbing tedium of collection, the long hours in the open air, the rhythm of pushing the grinding machine's big wheel round - it's all part of becoming one with the cider. A step closer to the nectar of  Pomona. And you should see it as an act of giving and sharing - you are putting in your effort, so that others may benefit. And in benefiting from your work, I can assure you, they will spiritually bless you. And the third reason is - if you don't make the cider now, what are we going to drink next Spring? Now get out there and get gathering.