When fundamentalist stunts go wrong

Big mistake by Drayton, that book-burning.

What he was doing reading "Joy of Sex" in the first place is beyond me. Though he claims it was a misprint and he was meant to be buying "Joy of Sax", in his pursuit of the perfect embouchure.  He claims.
In any event, he was outraged by the what he read, and more particularly by the pictures he saw. So he organised the book-burning. All his fundamentalist mates came round to join him, and cheered as the flames licked round... the Kindle. At least, as many have pointed out, the name is appropriate.

He's learnt his lesson now. Given that his congregation technically numbers zero, and there's no way I'm going to subsidise him until he gets a grip and starts banging the holes out of doilies like everyone else, I'm not going to give him any dosh for a new one. He'll have to read the extensive collection of Thomas Hardy in the Library just like everybody else. And if I catch him with any matches near those he's for the high jump.