The 10 Remembered Commandments

Drayton Parslow mentioned my Bible as you Remember it in his ramblings last night. Normally I'd deal with Drayton in the same way as normal - i.e. assume he was trying to steal my job and put in his joyless, fundamentalist theology instead. And then kick him in the shins.  But on this occasion he did encourage me to get on with putting together the 10 Remembered Commandments. I've had to ask a few friends for help, but here's the Commandments, as people seem to remember them.

1) You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and mind and soul.

2) Don't be idle.

3) Keep Sunday Special

4a) (KJV) Thou shalt not commit adultery

4b(Modern version) Thou shalt not sleep with someone else's committed partner. Unless you all agree it's OK.

4c(Fundie version) If thou shouldst commit adultery, keep quiet about it. But condemn it in others.

4d(Drayton Parslow version) Don't. Just don't.

5) You shall not witness false bears.

6) Keep out of your neighbour's covert. Especially with an ass.

7a) (KJV or pacifist version) Thou shalt not kill.

7b) (Modern, non-pacifist version) Do not murder.

7c) (Jesus version) Don't hate other people. And don't think they're idiots, either.

8) Do not adulterate your neighbour's wine.

9)  God loves those who love themselves. Or something. Or was it help?

10) Slightly exaggerating your expenses is not theft. Oh - is it?

With thanks to @kouya and @tinnles