Please note that, Beaker Folk mostly being what may be described as softy southerners, there may be a certain degree of stereotyping, and clumping together all northerners together as if they all speak a mixture of Georgie and Derbyshire, in this liturgy. We assure you that it is done with affection for all you gruff, scary people who seem to feel no shame in talking to strangers on trains and in shops.
Please also note that for Americans who generally think that Edinburgh and Cardiff are both in "England", this may all be meaningless.
Dress code: Hi-viz, flat caps and whippets
Hymn: The Blaydon Races
Archdruid: Eh-oop, Beaker Folk.
All: Eh-oop, Archdruid.
Archdruid: 'appen it's stopped snowin', then.
All: Aye, but it's blowin' a gale.
Archdruid: The fog on the Tyne is mine, all mine. The northern lights are in my mind.
Geordie Confession:
All: Awee, we've done stuff wrong. We've gang agin our neighbours in thowt an word an deed,
threr negligence, threr weakness, threr wor aan deliberate fault. Wor truly sorry.
Archdruid: Awee, gan an' behaive yerselves.
Yorkshire Offertory
Hear all, see all, say nowt,
tak' all, keep all, gie nowt,
and if tha ever does owt for nowt
do it fer thisen.
Song: On Ilkley Moor Bah't At
Departure
Archdruid: Will yez all stay for a barm cake?
All: We'd loov to but there's trouble at 't mill.
Eee lad, my grandmother could play that with a stick of rhubarb. What do you think of that Ricky Ponting eh, yer daft Aussie?
ReplyDeletesorry, just getting into the spirit.
Tha's barmy on the crumpet you are...
ReplyDelete'eee lass 'appen thas nay queet 'it t' nail on't 'ed!
ReplyDeleteI'd hate you to think of me as being parochial. However, I don't that Benedict Biscop would be happy singing the Blaydon Races and other Tyneside songs. He was a good Mackam and should be celebrated as such. I'm also concerned that you have some 'Yorkshire' content to your northern liturgy. Anyone with a reliable sense of geography knows that Yorkshire is in the south.
ReplyDeleteAs I say, I'd hate you to think of me as being parochial.
I hope Drayton is on hand to compare the 7 counties of the North to the 7 deadly sins
ReplyDeleteFull of appalling northern stereotypes - I liked it!
ReplyDeleteNay, Eddie. can see tha's not parochial at all. We know there's just the one "North" because that's what it says on the signposts. Just below "The Midlands", normally.
ReplyDeleteBryonny - Lancs, Yorks, Durham, Northumberland, Cumberland, Westmorland... ?
Phil, stereotypes? we were aiming for gritty kitchen-sink reality, based on "When the Boot comes in" and "Last of the summer Wine"
As an expat Yorkshireman, all I can say is "Tha' were rait grand!'
ReplyDelete