Dear Readers, I have been awake all night puzzling over a Biblical conundrum. I refer to the problem with the donkeys on the ride into Jerusalem. Why does Matthew refer to Jesus riding on two donkeys, while Luke and Mark have only one?
But I met Drayton just now, already a-field. Drayton says that he gets up early because the Lord wakes him every morning. Especially, for reasons I do not understand, his ear.
But Drayton tells me that if one part of the Good Book says there was one donkey and another part says two, there is no contradiction. They are both true. How can this be?
I have concluded that there are two solutions. One is the "serial" solution and the other the "parallel". In the "serial" solution, Jesus first rode one donkey into Jerusalem, and then dismounted and rode another two. In the "parallel" solution, he rode all three at once. I have concluded that the "parallel" solution is unlikely, as there is no mention of Our Lord having the very long legs which would have been necessary.
I thanked Drayton, but just to check I asked him whether he is secretly a robot covering up for the real Drayton having joined the Rapture. He said not, but I kicked him in the shins to be on the safe side. He hopped about and screamed a bit, but the robot could have been pretending.
Could this have been a quantum effect? One donkey becoming two and then coalescing back into one when it realised that it was being observed?
ReplyDeleteIf the parallel idea doesn't work for you, how about the Trinity?
ReplyDeleteMatthew uses the Septuagint (Greek version of the Old Testament), and has a rather literal approach to it.
ReplyDeleteThe Hebrew says, of course, 'A colt the foal of a donkey' (Zechariah 9:9). Hebrew has a tendency to say things twice, and we can see that 'colt' and 'foal of a donkey' are the same animal, a male donkey.
The Greek says 'A donkey and a young colt. Presumably this began as a mistranslation of the Hebrew. So Matthew ends up with Jesus trying to ride two animals at once. The Greek says quite plainly, 'he sat on them', but some translations can't cope with this, and do all sorts with it.
The other three Gospel authors, being sensible fellows, know perfectly well you that not even Jesus can sit on two animals at the same time, and make it clear that there's only one.
Robert, thank you for your erudition and education.
ReplyDeleteBut did he sit on the two donkeys first, or the one donkey?
There were no two donkeys; Matthew's failed to spot the error in the text he's using!
ReplyDeleteRobert, I went and told Drayton that the reason for the three-donkey puzzle is that the Bible is wrong. He just shook his head sadly at me, and said John Wesley would have been disappointed. Then he pointed out that the Bible being wrong is impossible. Which seems an undeniable argument.
ReplyDeleteSo we have constructed another possible scenario. We reckon that what happened was that Our Lord fulfilled the prophecy by climbing on two donkeys at once, and then left one behind (or possibly lent it to Mary of Bethany or something) as it was too awkward. He then made the rest of the journey in comfort on the remaining donkey.
Well, maybe, but that means the other three Gospels, which only mention one beast, must be wrong. Either way, someone has to have made a mistake! The theory that it's impossible for the Bible to be wrong only works as long as you're careful not to look too closely at the details.
ReplyDelete