The "Light of a Thousand Suns" Floor

This one's been in the planning stage for a while, but it was the approach of Earth Hour that gave us the impeteus to get it set up.

Sometimes in a bid to get back-handers of some kind, or show their ecological credentials, retailers sell low-energy light bulbs at 3 for 20p or other silly deals. We think it's great. We've been buying up thousands, ready for the day when the last proper bulbs are banned and the deals are all dropped. I'm reckoning that we'll corner the market. Obviously, we don't use them round the Great House. I don't trust their mercury content, and they're nasty for reading by. We've also been buying up hundreds of proper 100W bulbs from a pound shop in East Anglia, stored away ready for underground sales in the years to come.

But we've realised that we can use the dangerous, ineffective bulbs on Saturday at Earth Hour. After all, then we're going to be "green". So we've installed thousands and thousands of them under the new glass floor of the Moot House. It's gonna be such a great effect come Earth Hour. Of course, being Earth Hour, we can't use mains electric to power them. So we've brought in an oil-shale-powered generator.

And of course, being low-energy bulbs, they're going to take a while to produce their full light output. So we'll be switching it all on tomorrow morning. I reckon 4 days should be long enough for them to warm up properly.