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Monday, 14 March 2011

Seasonal transactions

Young Keith and I were chatting down the White Horse last night, as he consumed several pints and gazed wistfully at the cigarette machine and I got some supper, secure in the knowledge that Mrs Hnaef, whose attitude has re-hardened after a pastoral visit by the Archdruid (who kept saying something about madeira not counting, particularly if it was someone else's), would not have prepared me any food. And we got talking, as one does, about database commit strategies and how they relate to the weather, especially at this time of year.

As I remember it, the substance of our discussion (which is, I have to admit, a little hazy this morning, possibly due to the liquid refreshment I also consumed) was this. Obviously, there are many changes occurring during this season, as the Creator and Maintainer of our planet - and, of course, Professor Brian, of our universe - quickens the sap (or SAP, as Young Keith joked), warms the earth and stirs the lambs (unless you're having a roast, as we conspicuously failed to do last night). Generally, the weather gets hotter, and rain falls down, not up (though sideways isn't uncommon in Wales and Scotland, I understand). Professor Cox is very keen to point out that the Arrow of Time only points in one direction, and God, therefore, must work very carefully with entropy to ensure that any changes that He/She makes will always "stick", as it were. God, one might posit, is less like a DJ (pace Ms Pink), and more like a cosmic database administrator, ensuring consistency through all events.

One cannot tell whether the universe is being run in hot-hot, active-passive or some other redundant-failover mode beyond our Ken (and even our Young Keith, who's pretty hot on these matters), but we can be certain that the Merciful DBA always takes great care of the Writes of Spring.
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