A Right Royal Barrel o' Monkeys

In deference to the heritage of most Beaker People of Husborne Crawley, today we are celebrating the Royal Wedding with a Right Royal Cockney Knees-up Ceremony. We've heard about the Street Parties of 1953 and we want some of that celebration. Albeit without the post-war austerity. That's not the fun part.

With respect to their Royal Highnesses (Gord bless 'em), we've looked at the Programme (surely "Order of Service"?) and it seems a bit kind of royal but worthy and dull. And that stuff about giving away your daughter... well, I dunno. Seems a bit feudal? Or it would be except most of the young women I know would be of the "are you going to give me away of your own free will or am I going to make you?" variety.  So our view is therefore that we wish them well, but after we've seen a few seconds of The Dress we're going to go and get on with the party. So we've decked the Moot House in Bunting, we've got a facade of the terraces off the Holloway Road stuck on the front of the Doily Shed for the day, we're putting on our Union Jack waistcoats and we're going with the following Alternative London Order o' Service:

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Rule Britannia 


Chas 'n' Dave's "Give me a London Girl Every time"


Roll art the barrel


Maybe it's becors I'm a Londoner


Holloway Girl by Marillion (a controversial choice, but you're lumbered with it)


Appearance of the Pearly King and Queen. Though we won't know what to do with them. I mean, what do they do when they're out of their manor? Bit of song and dance?


There'll always be an England


Doin' the Lambeff Warwk


Dishing-out of the cockles and whelks

Land of 'ope and Glory

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After which we're going to drink some of Mr Charles Wells's fine Bedford brews - particularly Bombadier, but of course they also brew Youngs' London beers now - and then do the Okey-Cokey in the Moot House.

It won't be pretty, it won't be logical, it won't be particularly coherent. But it will be, above all, patriotic.