Beaker Half-Cut

It looks like we're in for a trying few days here.

The action by UK Uncut has inspired Brethyn to start her own, rather confused, campaign against tax avoidance. Given her rather emotion state last night when she started this movement, we're calling it Beaker Half-Cut.

She started off by beating Burton up for having a pension plan, and Redrytch for having an ISA. Outrageous examples of tax avoidance, in Brethyn's opinion. She told Burton she expects him to take all his pay home, and if he wants to save for his pension to put the money in the bank or under his bed, rather than expecting the Government to let him have free money.

Then she somehow got her hands on Rodrick's train ticket and cut it in half. She told him if he insists on working in London he shouldn't dodge fuel duties and VAT - and ordered him to drive. And also told him he shouldn't go looking for a car-share either - he should drive in his own car and pay the amount of duty he's supposed to.

But Brethyn was happy when I explained to her that we don't have charitable status, so don't collect Gift Aid on our contributions. Unlike other tax-dodgers such as Greenpeace or the Church of England. Although I tactfully avoided mentioning that this is because Beaker Holdings is registered in Grand Cayman. But in case anyone's wondering, I don't feel any guilt about this. Why shouldn't I register the company in the country where I pay tax myself? I'm only being patriotic. 

But the last straw was this morning. There was a real surprise for Joliet doing the weekly community shop at the Cash & Carry. She discovered all the UHT orange juice had been swapped for fresh - so as to ensure we paid VAT. And all the Jaffa Cakes had been removed from the trolleys and replaced with Chocolate Hob Nobs.

So enough's enough. I've had Security inflate a giant helium balloon, and we've floated her up in the air for the afternoon. If she wants to get other people paying tax that's fine by me. But I draw the line at having no Jaffa cakes, and  I don't want "bits" in the orange juice.