Celebration of special relativity

Archdruid's note: It was on 30 June 1905 that Albert Einstein issued the seminal article "On the Electrodynamics of Moving Bodies". Please don't try this at home. We do these liturgies so you don't have to.

 Hnaef is projected through the Moot House (from SW to NE) at near-light-speed. He is remarkably lengthened. Which is a mistake, as he was tall enough already. He whizzes out through the Summer Sunrise door and splats into the wall of the Doily Shed.


All: Ooooh!


Standing on a set of scales, Young Keith hurtles from the SE to the NW door. In a total contradiction to special reality, but to make the point, the scales reveal that he is now very, very heavy.

All: Ooooh!

Switching on the magnets in the Moot House walls, and making use of the steel in Burton Dasset's toe-caps, we accelerate him to relativistic speed. We accelerate Marston Moretaine in the opposite direction, using the same principle. When they collide, they form that much-sought subatomic particle - the Anti-Moron.

All: Ooooh!

The Archdruid stands up to deliver her sermon, "Relativity and the Existence of the Divine". Everyone figures that they must have been travelling very fast, as although they think the sermon lasted a very long time, the Archdruid reckons it was only 5 minutes long.

All: Zzzzzz!

In a demonstration of quantum theory, we entangle two photons. When we spin one, the other goes round in circles the other way.

A small chap with familiar eyes and moustache wanders across the Moot House.

Albert: Schtopp! Gott does not play dice!

All: Einstein a go-go!