Every day the tabloids cover the goings-on of people we've never heard of in the Big Brother House.
Every evening the readers of those tabloids wonder where Channel 5 is.
Given this year's collection of celebrities, however, I'm very excited. The only way the concept could get any better would be if you switched off all the cameras and microphones in the house. And shut down Channel 5. And never allowed the celebrities out, ever. Just kept giving them food and pointless tasks. And then, in 100 years or so, encased the House in cement.
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