Kate Middleton Pregnant?

I've got no idea. I'm just an Archdruid in a neo-coenobitic community in the English South Midlands. I've spent all day slapping around the face those male members of the community who went into the woods to be "manly" - and who were then terrified by a squirrel and a 21-year-old Assistant Druid in a nylon badger outfit.

But it's a nice way to draw attention to your sad little newspaper, TV programme or blog. Like "Will the Italian Dictatorship lead to a Fall in Cheam House Prices?" - a headline with no commitment to any answer other than "search us". "Do Mobile Phones Cause Bell's Palsy?" - I don't know, but it might draw your attention. "Silvio Berlusconi goes into the 'Celebrity' Jungle?" - plausible, at least. "Could Graham Kendrick be the next 'Kirsty' from Location, Location?"

The answer to that last one is no, of course.

And she's "Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge"