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"Mr Watson—Come here—I want to see you"
"Welcome to Mr Watson's Helpline.
If you're calling to report problems with your transmitting apparatus, please press "1".
If you're calling to report problems with your receiving apparatus, then you won't hear this message.
If you want to upgrade to our 'Friends and Family' package, come back in 1998.
If you want to order a pizza, don't. It's Lent.
If you think "Mr Watson" is just a British-sounding name adopted by somebody in a Bangalore call-centre, you're probably right.
Since you won't have a touch-tone phone, please hold."
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