A bit odd, but last night we had a visit from a member of the Tingrith Conservative Association.
He'd mis-understood about our day of prayer for Pedants, and thought it was for peasants. Very good idea, he said. He hoped, in line with Tory policy, that we were praying that the peasants stayed off the booze. Apparently when he heard that Lidl cider was cheaper than water, he had his chauffeur wash the car in it. Made a shocking mess, the paintwork went all sticky. He had to hose it off with Evian, same as normal.
He was very keen to emphasise that he'd used French water to wash the car - after all, there's a drought on.
Then having stressed again that the lower orders - and especially people from Newcastle - cannot be trusted with cheap alcohol - he went off. Apparently his drink supply had run short, but the tanker had arrived. Last time, two servants drowned in the storage tank, he said. They gave a nasty tang to the port, but he'd drunk worse when he was in the Bullers.
Now there was an organisation that was prone to drink-fuelled escapades. If they'd only raised the price per unit to £100 in 1985, there would be restaurants in Thame that still had the original windows.
He'd mis-understood about our day of prayer for Pedants, and thought it was for peasants. Very good idea, he said. He hoped, in line with Tory policy, that we were praying that the peasants stayed off the booze. Apparently when he heard that Lidl cider was cheaper than water, he had his chauffeur wash the car in it. Made a shocking mess, the paintwork went all sticky. He had to hose it off with Evian, same as normal.
He was very keen to emphasise that he'd used French water to wash the car - after all, there's a drought on.
Then having stressed again that the lower orders - and especially people from Newcastle - cannot be trusted with cheap alcohol - he went off. Apparently his drink supply had run short, but the tanker had arrived. Last time, two servants drowned in the storage tank, he said. They gave a nasty tang to the port, but he'd drunk worse when he was in the Bullers.
Now there was an organisation that was prone to drink-fuelled escapades. If they'd only raised the price per unit to £100 in 1985, there would be restaurants in Thame that still had the original windows.
I take it that the Beaker Folk are not born Tory's. If they were, they'd not so disparaging about quite sensible people, who have had their humanity removed by Pubic School (sorry. Public).
ReplyDeleteThey are the victims in all of this. They can't understand why people vilify them, and feel really aggrieved that Gorgeous George hasn't given them back more than £40,000 in tax.
I can see the Tory Version of Beaker Folk, would need Gold Beakers, Gold T Lights and the metal in their toe caps, would be pure Gold.
I once met a Tory who had defected from Labour. He was loving carrying the bags for others at the Tory Conference, fetching them drinks and generally menial tasks. Said it reminded him of his days as a Union Official, having lost the election for Leadership and being relegated to Deputy President of UNISOD.
I myself love the Green Party. I think its a childhood reaction to having been force fed my greens as a child. Like the Tory's, its a habit I can't break. I'm conditioned to things Green, so the Green Party appeals for that reason.
I'm nervous about their conference shortly. I understand that smoking Pot is compulsory, and I haven't really got my head around how you fit a saucepan into your mouth.
I would have thought that...on the lines of cock ale...the servants would have enhanced the flavour...
ReplyDeleteUKViewer - gold is a foolish metal for toe caps, in the same way that it's hopeless for making sickles for mistletoe-cutting. It's a soft metal. It is also rather heavy, and I wouldn't like any Beaker People vanishing into the marshy ground down by the brook.
ReplyDeleteFly in the Web - Burton Dassett says you shouldn't drink at the Cock. The Bull Vaults next door - that's the place for a pint of ale.