I feel I need to issue a bit of a clarification - people seem to think I expect special treatment because I'm Archdruid, and I want to clear things up.
Just because I get to wear the pointy hat, and the special robes, and just because I get to sit in the Archdruid's Special Comfy Beanbag in the Moot House, and expect everyone to make the Beaker sign of obedience as I walk past, doesn't mean I think I'm anything special.
Likewise, the ringing of a special bell before I talk, and the way I get to stand in the Archdruid's Pulpit (except when I decide I woud be more post-modernly "hip" wandering about (tracked by the Archdruid's spotlight) while I share my pearls of wisdom in that deceptive manner that looks like I just thought of them) - that's not because there's anything wrong with the "Pulpit for Other Ranks".
And yes, that is a very big poster with my face on it, behind the Archdruid's Sermon DVDs and the collected sermon books and the copies of "100 Brilliant Thoughts from Archdruid Eileen", and "89 Further Brilliant Thoughts from Archdruid Eileen" (I'll be honest, I was struggling with the sequel - you could call it the "difficult second album syndrome" striking).
And yes, Young Keith is working hard on archdruideileen.net, where people will be able to download my sermons (with suitable advertising embedded) or ask me to say a special prayer for them, and there is a section called "Just How Great is Eileen?". And the Sermon Scoring Section, where you can rate my sermons as "Wesley", "Whitefield", "Lloyd Jones" or merely "Spurgeon".
And it's true, I do get to eat at the head of Top Table in the evenings.
But none of this is because I want anyone to think I'm in any way special. No, it's because as a leader, I'm called especially to be a servant. And so the only reason we have all this attention being directed towards me, is to see what a fantastic servant I'm being.
You sound very much like Arch Bishop Jonathan Blake (of my borough) who runs his Arch Diocese from a 3 bedroom terrace in Bexley. He was arrested a year of so ago for getting his sons to sit on the roof apex of his house to do their homework. He got off scot free?
ReplyDeleteA few years ago, he managed to sue a large National Paper that alleged that he wasn't a real Arch Bishop.
I see a money making opportunity here. Just get someone to say that you are not a Real Arch Druid, and than sue them until their pips squeak. You'll never have to pretend to work again.