On the Notice Board

Weekly Programme

Yesterday's Coffee Morning raised, after expenses, 37p. Congratulations to Hierome on the vast improvement.

The Men's Group will be meeting at 7pm on Wednesday. The theme will be "manliness and Christianity - not necessarily incompatible". We'll be adding bromide to the post-meeting tea to be on the safe side.

Thursday at 8 will be the Eeling meeting. Please bring your own eel.

Barking at the Moon will be Friday at 11.15 pm.

The Julian Meeting will be Saturday morning at 10am. Since there's only person called Julian, it shouldn't last long.

Squonk Racing will be in the Lower Meadow on 3pm Saturday. Young Keith will be running a Tote. All funds raised will go to the refurbishment of Hilda. Goodness knows she needs it.

Session 1 of the Assertiveness Training Course will be Sunday at 4pm. It should have been last Sunday, but I'd shut my study door and apparently nobody liked to knock.

Health & Safety

Please note that the following "worship aids" have been banned:

• Air horns
• Copies of "The Wee Worship Book"
• Copies of "The Great Hulkin' Worship Book"
• Didier Drogba
• Water wings
• Laser key-rings (especially when directed towards the Readers)
• Pogo sticks
• Hockey sticks
• Rhubarb sticks
• Metal Detectors

The Fountain of Salmacis has been capped off. We felt it was safer. Especially with the Men's Meeting.

Please do not feed the stewards. They have a carefully-controlled diet, and get all the food they need.