Friday 1 June 2012

Trinitarian Heresy Sunday

I had some good response to my previous comments on Young Keith's water phase-based trinitarian heresy. So much so that I realise there are a lot of people out there suffering from Bad Trinitarian Analogy Syndrome.

The first thing that happens is that the rector, superintendent minister, bishop or local archdruid looks at the church calendar some time in spring, notices that Trinity Sunday follows Pentecost again, and promptly decides a week off is called for. The Local Preacher, curate, Reader or Young Keith suddenly discovers that he/she is down to preach. If they are new to the job, they will be delighted. They will work terribly hard at getting the best possible illustrations. They will read the Early Fathers, the Middle Mothers and the Late CS Lewis. They will be extremely creative. And then they will preach their sermons. And at this point, people, they will run the risk of stumbling into some kind of heresy.

There is one way to tell if your preacher is probably being heretical this coming Sunday.

If they attempt to use any kind of analogy for the Trinity at all. 

Frankly, this is why the Athanasian Creed, in between the curses, goes to such immense trouble and uses so many words basically to set out a load of things the Trinity isn't. And leaves us none the wiser. You are all using the Athanasian on Sunday, aren't you? In full, of course? Anathemata and everything?

So the minute your preacher talks about the Trinity being just like a family, or like a laser beam, the laser and the radiation, or like the Jam, or like joy, laughter and a laugh - just walk to the front of the church, hold up your hand for silence, and present them with your "Heretical Analogy of the Trinity" card.

But don't stop there. If they imply Jesus is God - but not real God, like God the Father is - give them the card. If they claim the Holy Spirit is female because the word is female in Hebrew - give them the "Heretical Analogy of the Trinity" card. But then also give them your "Dodgy mis-use of Biblical Language Translation" card.

If they don't worry too much about what the Sunday is, and just preach the Gospel from the set texts, I reckon you're doing all right.

4 comments :

  1. Did I ever tell you about my Trinitarian sermon on the Mars Bar...?

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  2. I wondered why the Vicar and Curate are both on Sabbatical this Sunday? Obviously, some retired Parson's don't mind filling in for Trinity, because we had them coming from all directions to lead services.

    I wondered about the attraction? Was it our fantastic Jubilee arrangements, with free food and wine? Was it the attraction of our Ancient Churches, none less than 1000 years old? Or was it something mystical, such as the Trinity. Three geezers in one and one geezer in three?

    Where I come from we used to say, going for a Pint at the Trinity!! Meaning the Three Crowns on the High Street. I'm not comparing the pub to the Trinity, but it seemed that the drinkers of East London had got the connection and shortened the name.

    I never questioned this and it helped me to really understand that you never found real ale at the Trinity, but you could find Grace.... but that's another story.

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  3. It's all human hogwash to attempt to explain stuff we're not meant to understand. Just forget the attempt, say "there's stuff we can't fathom" and leave it at that. We'll have plenty of time to sort it all out in the afterlife.

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    1. Ok, let me clarify my seemingly anti-Trinitarian position. My issue is that understanding the Trinity or even giving a flying rat's butt one way or another doesnt seem to further my spirituality so why bother? Will there be a test onTrinitarian theology on judgement day? I'm thinking "no". So, I agree with the rector who runs from the theme of this Sunday -they've got the right idea!

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