Can all Beaker Folk please be aware that the Discovery apples are ready to eat, and the "scrumps" of other varieties are falling. Apples are free at the point of delivery (but there's an honesty box in the Bursary if anyone wants to give thanks for Nature's Bounty).
It was Tess (of the D'Urbervilles) who noted that apples are like worlds. Some are whole and sound, some are blighted. And some have already attracted wasps - which, due to a freak quantum entanglement, means that somewhere on the other side of the Galaxy there are planets being attacked by giant alien vespids.
Beaker People, it is your respnsibility to save our extra-terrestrial brothers, sisters and other, more alien, sibling-type relatives! Please can you ensure all fallen fruit is collected, the good apples put into the "scrumpy freezer" and the mank bits composted. In this way, you'll be saving this planet and other ones.
Except, of course, those planets that continue to be quantum entangled. They're going to be wondering why they've plunged into a sudden Ice Age.
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