The Ornamental Pond of Faith

The trouble with the "Sea of Faith" movement?

It was too big. Too modernist. A whole sea? The whole point of a sea is that it's effectively boundless (unless it's the Caspian sea). A sea is a dangerous thing. Paddle out on to it on a lilo and next thing you know you're drifting past the Goodwin Sands and brushing up on your French. No, a Sea of Faith was always going to be too big.

And so we are glad to introduce the "Ornamental Pond of Faith" movement. It's a simple concept. You can keep your own beliefs, lose them, or never have started with any. Which is, let's face it, what the Beaker People are all about. But you need never worry about getting out of your depth. The "Pond of Faith" is, frankly, pretty shallow to begin with. The fish are pretty boring, sure. But in the spring the Tadpoles of Faith frolic around, occasionally being eaten by the Dragonfly Larvae of Doubt.

If you throw a stone into the Sea of Faith, the ripples are lost - overwhelmed by the Waves of Worry, or blown to pieces by the Sudden Squall of Uncertainty. Not so in the Pond of Faith. Drop a stone into the Pond of Faith, and the ripples retain their integrity - drifting out to the far edge, and never coming back.

Indeed, so many pebbles have now been thrown into the Pond of Faith that it is possible to walk across it, with your feet barely getting wet. The ripples aren't so great now, but we're thinking of installing a Fountain of Faith - solar powered, of course. And as the pebbles continue to go in over the next few weeks, we realise what we're really creating is a Water Feature of Faith. Which is like the Pond of Faith, but even safer. And quite nice in a Church of English Country Garden. We might even put in a Garden Gnome of Gnosis.