Christingles

Now we're all looking forward to this evening's Christingle service. Just a few reminders, however:

1) Can everyone keep their Christingles well away from the crepe paper that has mysteriously appeared all over the Moot House. There's a lot of lint around and frankly the whole place could go up.

2) Please encourage your kids not to eat the Christingles until after the service. Last year, little Agrippina ate all the sweets, the candle, and was halfway through the orange peel before anyone noticed. If your children are going to eat petroleum wax, I'd much rather they did it on your premises, not mine.

3) Bringing home-made Christingles is discouraged. I know Hnaef wanted to show off his handiwork last year. But sellotaping roman candles and gobstoppers to a Space Hopper is no way to encourage that "aaah" feeling of reverence so important on these occasions.

4) Try to keep one armslength between adjacent children. It means I've a half-chance of feeling worshipful at some point in the proceedings, rather than having to hold the bucket of water throughout just in case.

5) Don't forget, at this time of Advent, that when a child does catch fire you should put them out with fire extinguishers with a purple label.

6) No party poppers.

7) No doily frisby-throwing.

8) No congas.

9) After last year, we're ensuring we overhead project all songs. Nobody will need to shuffle four different printouts and a lit Christingle.

10) Trained explicateurs will be on hand, to inform people what the different parts of a Christingle mean. That way I don't need to remember.

11) Finally, I don't care what the Church of England does. I'm keeping the offering strictly for "Community Funds".