The Nativity - the closing credits roll

The Shepherds - In an unlikely pun-based co-incidence, opened Judea's first 24-hour hosiery laundry.

King Herod - appointed Roman Empire Peace Envoy to the Middle East.

The Magi - Arrested as illegal immigrants, spent nine months in a detention centre before going back to their own country a different way (handcuffed to members of the Judean Borders Agency).

The Little Drummer Boy - after successfully getting his own song about attending an event he wasn't at, went on to captain Chelsea.

Joseph - Lived in constant fear of an argument with his step-son's father. Who was, genuinely, bigger than he was.

Blessed Virgin Mary - Despite no education, being of an insignificant family and a single mother, went on to become Queen of Heaven. Simon Cowell livid, as she had a fantastic back-story, yet he had no way of being able sort out a record deal.

The Holy Innocents -  Innocent, and yet the powerless victims. Always remembered - and yet never heeded.

The Christ-child - Innocent, holy, God-loving, caring for the poor and helpless, incapable of any wrong. Was killed for being an affront to polite society.