Litany of Un-giving Up for Lent

We have erred from our ways like lost horse-meat
We have failed after just a week
We have fallen off the waggon with a bang
And there is no spiritual fibre in us.

We have done those things we ought not to have done
And we have undone those biscuit packets we ought not to have undone
And we declared that Carling wasn't really strong enough to count as proper beer
And that spare ribs really are a vegetable.

And so we look at the five weeks to come
And wonder - should we maybe take something up instead?
You can't fall off taking something up
Because as long as you do it once - you've taken it up.

And so we resolve to become evangelicals
And take up more Bible-reading than we're used to
Which, to be frank, isn't hard,
So we're just off to read a bit of Mark's Gospel. That should do it.