Electrifying Preaching

I did enjoy this morning's sermon slot. I have adopted a new method of dealing with the problem of preachers who think they are better than they actually are.

It's a simple method which is based on the "X Factor", the Milgram Experiment and "Who wants to be a Millionaire". So the preacher is wired up to electrodes, and an electric current is passed through them, in direct proportion to the number of  people who press the button marked "Had enough, already". If anyone thinks the sermon's gone on quite long enough, they press the button and add their electric charge to the yoke that the preacher is carrying.

So a shock - in both senses - for Izzi today. I know for a fact she had a 30-minute sermon prepared. I also know she only actually preached 14 minutes of it, before she ran out of the Moot House, screaming. It's been a good start. I'm expecting the quality of sermons to improve in three ways - firstly because people will have to work at being more interesting, secondly because the sermons will be shortened to be on the safe side, and thirdly because the preachers will start to see their sermons as other people see them. And, as the Government like to say about electronic surveillance, anybody who isn't a boring preacher will have nothing to fear.