An App for Thin Places

Smashing bit of app programming by Young Keith there.

Armed only with my trusty Samsung Galaxy, I've just completed the Beta testing of a strip of School Lane. Meanwhile, Beaker Folk spread far and wide over Husborne Crawley have completed an analysis of the thinness of the entire village.

A thin place

It's obvious to me that, if some places are "thin"  - Walsingham, Iona, the Rollright Stones, Lords - then other places must be "thick". The Houses of Parliament spring to mind, after the sight of the party leaders posing with the Sun. Albeit Westminster, a holy place on an island, was a thin place before they dredged the marshes and moved the pond life from the fenny brooks into the Chapel of St Stephen.

Ed Miliband is sitting in a "thick place"

But if some places are "thin", and others are "thick", then there must be spiritual slopes. Ley lines must be like spiritual v-shaped valleys. And how does one get from a thin place to a thick one, except down a spiritual contour?

I mean, the app's not actually capable of measuring the spirituality in the air. That would be ridiculous. What you do is, you press the screen every fifty feet and it works out how spiritual your finger is. Proper spiritual science.And so we used Young Keith's app, and the miracle of GPS, and we have successfully mapped the thinness of Husborne Crawley:

Thinness measured in milliStewkleys (mSt).

Obviously it's what you would expect. Things are thinnest around the woods, the brooks, and the church. We're not very sure why there's such a thick spot in the fields between the school, the pub and the M1. But we'll be looking very carefully at those spots where the thinness gets down to 6 mSt. Gotta be good for some serious pebble-holding, I reckon.

As I say, we're using the Beta version, and it's in Android. To be honest, I'm worried about the version for iOS that Keith is developing, Knowing the way Apple's clocks and alarms work, if you're measuring the thinness of Stonehenge at the wrong time of the year, you may discover you actually are in 3000 BC.