What the EU Does

Many do not give the European Union credit for the good it does. David Cameron, to name just one.

And yet, through the judicious combination of donations from the larger, Germanic nations ("Les Suckers") to the more deserving parts of the continent, great things can be done.

Take the example of "Le President"

"Le President" is actually a Flemish bloke called Jan. He grew up not making "cidre", because that's not the Dutch for "cider". In fact, he used to wear clogs when he was little.

But, thanks to the European Union, Jan gets to go around pretending to be French. He gets to do some vaguely suggestive activities with girls carrying apples. He can throw away perfectly good apples thanks to the EU Apple Scrappage Subsidy. He can afford to subsidize jazz bands, and a thriving bar that sells only rubbish cider in the middle of the French countryside. In Belgium.

The EU. Working for you.