Liturgy of the First Day Back at Work After Christmas

Burton Dasset: Oh woe, how full is my inbox.

All: How many are the emails that are ranged about me.

Burton: How did so much emailage appear?

All: Mine enemies (ie the people I work with) must have worked through the night watches, sending me urgent requests, even on the device that is called a BlackBerry from New Year parties.

Burton: But I promised myself I'd take Christmas off properly.

All: A little sleep.

Burton: A little folding of the hands.

All: A little raising of the glass.

Burton: But now how much drudgery lays before me.

All: How close do the deadlines loom.

Burton: For before Christmas when something had to be done by mid-January surely I said in my heart - that's miles away. I can do that in the New Year.

All: But the Festive Season has gone, the tinsel is down, and we are not yet safe.

Burton: For behold, mid-January prowleth like unto a lion.

All: And even February is now like an wolf that lurketh, even in the groves of Gilead.

Burton: And the accounting period must now be closed.

All: Like unto the house of the judge that listeneth not, except unto importunate widows.

Burton: And so shall I labour long on the ledgers.

All: And it shall be as a dreadful reckoning.

Burton: I shall be like unto those that watch for morning.

All: I shall not cease, my adding machine by my side and Excel before my eyes.

Burton: Until I have balanced the last book.

All: And in this I have hope.

Burton: For late night ledgers last only for a fortnight.

All: And Starbucks cometh in the morning.