The Liturgy of the Fairytale of New York - 2015

** Warning - people who are arses may find the following disturbing **

Archdruid: You scumbag, you maggot.

All: You cheap lousy faggot.

Archdruid: Happy Christmas, your arse - I pray God it's our last.

All: Are you sure about that?

Archdruid: What?

All: Bit offensive?

Archdruid: Offensive to whom?

All: Are you being offensive to people who are arses?

Archdruid: WHAT?

All: People who are arses are people too.

Archdruid: Wasn't it bad enough when we worried about people who are maggots?

All: This is Dave Cameron's Britain.....

Archdruid: But I didn't even say the person concerned was an arse. It was more of a Royle-Family type of expression...

All: Can't be too careful.

Archdruid: OK. We would like to apologise to any people who are arses who were offended by the making of this liturgy....