Leisurewear Liturgy

Liturgical Dress: Leisurewear

Charlii: Who has arrived dressed in their PJs?

PJ people: We have.

Charlii: And who has turned up in a crocodile onesie?

Onesies: We have.

Charlii: And who dresses in clothes despite being naturally au naturel? 

Italian Statues: We do.

Charlii: Srsly? 

Italian Statues: Oh yeah. Apparently the Iranian president would pass out or invade Tajikistan if he saw 6 feet of naked marble.

Charlii: So cover up the feet?

Italian Statues: Not just the feet... 

Charlii: Did the Italian museums consider dressing the statues in crocodile onesies?

All: No! Crocodiles are haram!

Charlii: But nobody's eating the statues...

All: You don't understand!  We must avoid the mere appearance of not worrying about everybody's feelings.

Charlii: So parents in onesies and PJs dropping the kids off?

All: Oh no. They're chavs. They don't count. You can upset them.

Charlii: Grief. I hate taking guest-services in Islington.