The Battle of Epping Forest

The "East End Heroes" battle it out to decide who gets to take protection money from the fish and chips shops. It all ends badly, taking in some fairly filthy Cockney rhyming slang, odd nicknames, and  assorted pieces of word play.

A thing about war is this - that the people who start it very rarely benefit very much. By the time the dust has settled they might as well have stayed at home. And the people who have to defend themselves or their allies - it might be better than if they just rolled over. But it's still not the ideal place to be. Most of the great aggressors might think war is a glorious things. But on the whole they ended up saying "curses!" And the first person to do a protection racket is only setting themselves up for the second person to do one.

When the limos return for their final review, it's all thru'
- all they can see is the morning goo.
"There's no-one left alive - must be draw."
So the Blackcap Barons toss a coin to settle the score.

A friend used to run a branch of a major betting company. When the representatives of the local heavies came round, my friend said not a problem - he'd happily pay the protection money. But would they mind giving him an invoice so he could put it through the books. They never came back lest they awoke something bigger. Who says capitalism doesn't work?