Imagine no "Double Fantasy "

One of the minor, not-very-marked dates in rock history. The day John Lennon wandered into a bar in Bermuda, heard the track "Rock Lobster" by the B52s, and was inspired to start making records again.

It's a real theological problem for me. How can a God that creates a universe which contains such beauty as "Rock Lobster" also allow John Lennon to make "Double Fantasy?" And don't forget Lennon had already imposed that chunk of self-indulgent, hippy drivel 'Imagine" on us.

People often wonder what they'd do if they had a time machine. Some would go back to Austria in July 1888, and offer Herr Hitler Senior a few steins before he went back for his big night in with Klara, in the hope of lowering his - ahem - ardour.

Some might go back to that critical day in Wittenberg, and put a sign on the door saying "Bill Stickers will be Persecuted." Would have saved a lot of trouble.

But I've more modest aims. I'd go back to 1980 Bermuda. And I'd try to persuade John Lennon to go to another bar.