Liturgy for People Who Found Out Who's Died in "Walking Dead"

Archdruid: Who has told the things we have heard?

All: Things no English person should have known until 9pm BST.

Archdruid: Let those who have ears to hear, shut them up.

All: Like the ears of the brazen serpent,

Archdruid: Which will not hearken to the voice of charmers.

All: Charm they ever so wisely.

Archdruid: Let us be like those who have eyes but do not see.

All: Unless they look on Twitter and...

Archdruid: You've done it haven't you?

All: We have seen and now we repent on the ground in dust and ashes.

Archdruid: We have become even like unto the Likely Lads.

All: Those who in the time of our fathers and mothers tried not to hear whether England had won the match.

Archdruid: And Facebook and Twitter and people at work..

All: ....have become to us like Brian Glover.

Archdruid: Tell it not in Alexandria.

All: Proclaim it not in Atlanta.

B52s: We're heading down the Atlanta Highway....

All: Looking for the love getaway.

Archdruid: Get out of it, O B52s of "Rock Lobster" fame. If you'd had appeared in "Walking Dead" you'd have ruined an entire series.

All: Although maybe supplied that vital hint of camp that is so missing among the drabness, grimness, blood and brainless zombies?

B52s: Love Shack, baby, yeah!

All: Love Shack, baby!

Archdruid: Go in peace, to look away from the screen.

All: Lucille, why can't you be true?

Archdruid: It's England 2, Bulgaria Nil.

All: And we know just how those Bulgarians feel.