Liturgy for Blue Monday

Hymn: Grey Day

Archdruid: All the Celebs are dead, and the skies are gray.

All: California dreamin' on such a winter's day.

Archdruid: I'd be scared of Trump, if I were in L.A.

All: Yeah, it's not much fun over there either.

Hymn: Rainy night in Georgia

Archdruid: And now, in a moment of silence, let us untangle our earphone cables.

All may untangle their cables. iPhone users may look smug until they realise they don't remember where they've left their buds.

All: Oh wow, how few are my assets. The credit companies gnash their teeth at me. The rain it raineth every day. And it's three months till the next bank holiday. Let us sit on the floor and sing sad songs.

Archdruid: I wouldn't in this weather. You'll add a case of the Farmer's to your woes.

Hymn: Blue Monday

Archdruid: Trump's in the White House. Britain's in the red. It's raining through the fog. But on this Bluest of Blue Mondays, let's remember one happy thing.

All: At least we don't use Southern Rail.